Does Venting Reduce Anger? I have done it once or twice. Here is what the research says about how venting affects anger.
Commentary on popular culture and society, from a mostly psychological perspective Sunday, June 18, Walking on Eggshells: Dealing with the Borderline in Your Life Many times, patients or others ask me for a recommendation for a book or help for dealing with an angry, destructive person who is ruining their emotional health.
My recomendation for a self-help book when coping with the aftermath of the borderline personality is Stop Walking on Eggshells: But first of all, what is a borderline and how do know if that is what you are dealing with? Certainly, one cannot diagnose someone without evaluating them, but many times, the descriptions people give me of their significant other, parent, child, or friend leads me to wonder if the advice seeker is dealing with a borderline.
There are even books on how to divorce a Borderline or Narcissistic Personality that give strategies to reduce the damage done to a person during the process.
In a book entitled, "Splitting," one section looks at how a borderline can convince your own lawyer that they are right and turn the lawyer against you--I believe it and have seen it happen. I have worked in places where people believe that a borderline must be right because they are "intelligent.
So what do you do when encountering the borderline in your life? Here are some tips from "Stop Walking on Eggshells" page with some of my own advice thrown in--for brevity's sake, I will list just a few, but if you want more detail-- get the book or go to BPD Central.
You can try to placate the borderline and work hard to give them love, care etc. Instead--reflect the painful feelings of the borderline back where they belong--with the borderline.
Show by your actions that you have the bottom line. Communicate the limits clearly and act on them consistently. Protect yourself and your children by removing them and yourself from the situation. For example, if a borderline flies into a rage and starts accusing you of things you did not do, tell him or her that you will be taking the kids out until they calm down and you can talk later.
Figure out your personal limits get help from a therapist if needed and communicate these to the borderline in a clear manner. However, ask for changes in behavior, not necessarily for changes in feelings--that is, you can ask them to change the behavior of yelling at you, but don't tell them not to be angry.
Finally, the best advice for those who are not yet involved legally with a borderline is a statement I heard from a colleague recently, "Borderlines make great girlfriends or boyfriends but you wouldn't want to marry one. Children of those with BPD have trouble in future relationships by seeking out the love of the BPD that they could never get or by avoiding people in the future for fear of more emotional blackmail.
Spouses of the BPD seem devastated and often end up with lives of quiet desperation or in the throes of accusations in court and parents end up believing that they are inadequate and incompetent.
None of it sounds promising.
Have any readers been involved with a borderline personality disorder--either married to one, or have a parent, child or friend with this disorder-and if so, how did you cope?
Take a look at Behavioraltech.Jayne is a freelance copywriter, business writing blogger and the blog editor here at Truity. One part word nerd, two parts skeptic, she helps writing-challenged clients discover the amazing power of words on a page.
The No Contact Rule is a delicate balancing act between taking back control, booting someone out of your life (even if they don’t know it) and not going crazy. You apply the No Contact Rule (NC) when you are in a relationship that just won’t die a death even though it’s dead as a dodo.
Thank you for the sharing of your knowledge. I can't help but wonder how I have negatively impacted my children.
I see myself when I was a child in some of your discussion and then as an adult and. Nov 03, · Write about one of your self-defeating behavior patterns.
No More Narcissists!: How to Stop Choosing Self-Absorbed Men and Find the Love You Deserve [Candace V. Love PhD] on caninariojana.com *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Why do some women date, or even marry, narcissistic men—over and over? In this provocative book. This Is What Really Makes Narcissists Tick and how deserving are they of our sympathy? Posted Jul 28, Thank you for the sharing of your knowledge. I can't help but wonder how I have negatively impacted my children. I see myself when I was a child in some of your discussion and then as an adult and.
One of my self-defeating behavior patterns is that I waste a lot of time doing unimportant things. I did this today when I got home from one of my buddies house and I sat down and watched T.V. until nine o’clock tonight.
Click or Press Enter to view the items in your shopping bag or Press Tab to interact with the Shopping bag tooltip. A Continuum of Mood States.
Many people are puzzled by the term "Unipolar Depression," which is another term for Major Depression. The term "Unipolar Depression" is used here to differentiate Major Depression from the other famous sort of depression, Bipolar (or Manic) Depression, which is a .